Reply to this letter.
first of all, I’m pleased to meet you even if not in a proper nice way. So, let me clarify from the beginning that this is an excuse letter, and it was not at all my intention to upset anybody.
I started bloggin very recently, intentions and aim of my blog are surerly not clear yet, as the website is not complete in all its parts and many descriptions and explications are still missing. If I lack of fairness, I’m sorry about that and I present my excuses. For sure it’s the result of my inexperience in this field linked to the willing of doing a lot.
I’ve already cancelled the posts, as I really didn’t want to upset anyone and I totally understand and respect your point of view, even if my intentions were misunderstood.
In your open letter you describe me as if I have used only negative words referring to you or the two other bloggers, but this is not true. I know than when we’re hurt, it easy to see everything negativetely, but let me underline that first of all in my post I write that I like your blog and about you that “she has a beautiful face and a good taste, and she always manages to have some very pleasant looks.”
These are the real feelings I have to your regards, I like your job, I like how you push plus fashion to be forward, I like what you write and how, I adore how you make up. And, even if I was really surprised, in a certain way I liked your open letter: even if there were no gentle words for me, you’ve been respectful.
Respect is for me a sacrosanct principle: my parents tought me to live respecting other people, but it became an incredibly firm value for me from when I was an adolescent and I was mistreated by my classmates abut my weight. Feeling so bad, I started living with in my heart the refrain “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others do unto you”. So believe me if I say that I didn’t want to upset anyone.
Let’s speak then about why I did these blog posts. I’ve always been curvy (if we want to call it so, or overweight, or however you want to define it), but I’ve also always been, since a was a little child, passionated by fashion. Since I was a child, I dreamt of becoming a fashion designer. I struggled a lot (as I start describing in my yet untranslated post “Su di me: storia di come sono arrivata a studiare moda” = “About me: how I succeded to study fashion”) and I succeeded in my target. It has been hard because not being skinny in the fashion world looks like, for the majority of fashion addicted, like a nonsense. I’ve always tried to enhance my body, and I builded a very strong identity also in the way I used to dress myself. Find the right combinations, emphasize the good points, cover my weaknesses, create new proportions, invent tricks… were my constant task.
But my body type was not easy to dress, as I used to have a very small waist and very strong thighs. To find a trouser for me it was like to find a needle in a haystack. Since I became more than a EU 42, it became harder and harder. In the last years, I became always more sensitive to the lack of nice and attractive clothing for a fashionable and overweight girl like me. I started dreaming about creating a brand new collection to be really cool and fashionable, for curvy girls.
The blog is part of this dream, as I want to study the needs of girls and women that feel this need, understand what they like, what they would want, and what is missing in the clothing market. The blog post “you can do better” has the aim to analyze the garments and how, being different, they could enhance more the body. All the modifications I imagined are about clothing. I never wanted to discuss the personal style, I wanted to underline how, if garments were different, they could differently show the body.
You write that you don’t think my modifications enhance your body. Well, this is, as you say, a personal taste. Sincerely, from the picture I thought you were much taller than 1,60 m, and this is for sure thanks to your competent way of dressing up, and your proportioned body. Said that I have, as you also write about you, important legs, overall in the hip and thigh part. When I was designing for a very important jeans brand, I was always trying to put into the collection nice jeans that I could wear and fit well. I liked a lot flare pants, were my thighs could enter, but I always conceived them with a tighter knee point, to enhance and flatter the leg. I am convinced that a pant well done and constructed of this kind can be perfect for a pear shaped body. Though I know that in plus size clothing is pretty impossible to find pants with this cut, but I’m sue that they would be good sellers, if existing. At the same way, I think it’s difficult to find a plus size fitted jacket/blazer that cover the hip but enhance waist and breast. I personally think your small waist is emphasized in anyway by wearing a white and fitted t-shirt. If the jacket was fitted as drawn, it will also show your sinuous shape at the waist.
So… my arguments were about clothing, not the style.
Maybe I used the wrong words to describe it. Maybe I didn’t clarify my aim. For sure I couldn’t use the same language skills in English or French as I have in my mother tongue, Italian. But believe me that I translated to “not at all” a sentence that is very soft and not so negative. Simply, I couldn’t find another short and clear translation. I always try, tests, to be correct and smooth. If I make some mistake or if I shame in someway, it’s totally involuntary. My aim is to attract women like me, not to distance them. Just to make an example, the title “You can do better” in Italian and French is impersonal. In italian I used “si” and in french “on“, that are impersonal pronouns that don’t refer to someone specifically, but someone in general. Unfortunately I couldn’t find the same concept translated in English.
Regarding the copywrght, before taking your picture I looked into your blog if there were some restrictions, and I couldn’t find any. As I pin with Pinterest one image in total legality, I downloaded it. I did the modifications on clothing to show how, in my opinion, they could fit well the body. But I coverred the face with a smile as I thought that it was not correct that an anauthorized modified image could circle and been published.
About asking the permission, sincerely I couldn’t imagine to have the possibility of getting the attention of such an important blogger, and I simply didn’t think about it. This is caused by my desire of doing linked to inexperience. I will probably need to think deeper before publishing something.
I don’t agree, anyway, about the fact that I’m insulting other bloggers modifying their clothes. I am only showing how, if clothes are slightly (or more evidently) modified they can give a different aspect of the same body. For sure I modified them with my taste, but this is in my mind and I cannot take it off. If you don’t like the modifications, it’s a matter of taste and probably you won’t love my personal style. But in Italian we use to say “Il mondo è bello perché è vario” ( meaning litterally “the world is beautiful because it is varied”, maybe similar to the English phrase “variety is the spice of life”).
Please believe that I am very far from wanting to shame anybody.
My aim is to emphasize the lack of offer in the curvy / plus size clothing world. As the title of my blog says “Plus Belle” (= more beautiful) means that also who is, for example, heavier than normal can be beautiful, also more beautiful than a lot of others.
I always defined myself in Italian ,speaking about the body, “morbida”, that means soft but has no proper translation in English. Now there is this “Curvy” word that looks, for many, more acceptable and no-shaming. Well, if we want to use it, I think curvy girls and women have a much stronger power possibility of seduction than others. The softness of the body and the welcoming feeling gave by the sinuosity of curves is instinctively very attracting on men’s unconscious.
So I want girls and women to feel beautiful, to love themselves. And I think clothing can be an instrument to empower this feeling and feel even more attractive. The problem, I think, is that plus size clothing is usually built to cover the bodies, whereas I think it should discover the beautiful parts and camouflage the weakest ones (that I’ve always called, reffering to me, defects, that in Italian has tough a lighter meaning than in English). I want more beautiful and appropriate clothes for curvy an plus size girls. And if I can, I’d want to partecipate in creating them. Only who knows difficulties and real problems in finding the right garments can, in my opinion, create the perfect wardrobe for who find the same complications.
I hope, in the future, to be able to let people understand properly my aim, and possibly share it. In order to create always a stronger creed that plus size clothing can be fashionable, comfortable, qualitative and attractive and can make feel a girl sexier, cooler, definetely right. I hope a plus fashion charming also for normal weight girls. A piece that one can wear and her slim friend ask where it’s been bought because she wants it too.
And to avoid misunderstanding, I want to underline that for me it’s importnat that anyone feels well and love first of all herself. There is no way to be loved if first we don’t love ourselves. Beautiful clothing can be bought and worn for pure personal pleasure. But as we live in a society, we have to compare and live together with other people. And where there are many people, there are many way of thinking and judges are inevitable. I’m sure that the biggest part of us would like to be positively judged by others, and if clothing can help to do so, I personally want to dress the best I can.
I respect in any case who don’t bother about other’s opinion. Dress with what and how you like.
This is the message I believe in, this is what I wanted to point out, this is what I meant. Sorry again to you Luciana and all the other people who felt badly about my posts. I’m one of you, I want everyone to feel well, happy and lovely.